среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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Irsquo;m so tired of being hurt. I guess itrsquo;s part of life, right. Irsquo;m sitting at my desk, AT WORK, crying. I try to not get upset about things. I try to be tough but some things just never cease to get to me over and over again. I guess that means whatever it is is significant enough that there must be something wrong, right.

�

Unrelated-

I just found out that I have a small cyst on my left ovary, but it doesnrsquo;t require follow-up and I have a retroverted uterus (which means it tilts to the back instead of forward.) YAY.

�

I think I am going to take the girls to the pumpkin patch after work. Me and Aeries look forward to it every year. Aeries wants to dress as Dorothy. We got the shoes and Toto in a basket already and I bought all the fabric. Irsquo;ve cut the dress parts and really need to get started sewing. Still havenrsquo;t figured out what Ayla is going to be. I would love to dress as the Wicked Witch, just donrsquo;t have enough time.



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I had coffee. Iapos;m spazzing out. I wanna go to the beach and be knocked down by waves. Over and over again. Its therapeutic.
I hope its warm enough. I really hope my dearest love wants to go too. I miss him. (sappysappysappy)
Aaaarrrggghhh caffeine is evil I hate waiting Iapos;m dying You know, in the way weapos;re all dying every moment that passes us by. Not in the omg she needs an ambulance way. No need to panic people, everything is um situation normal.
Sigh------ Iapos;m impatient

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вторник, 14 октября 2008 г.

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Perfect



He watched her dancing in the sunlight
singing words he did not understand,
a single tiger lily in her hands
in a field of red and blue and green,
her black hair unbound,
caught by the wind of her motion
swirling behind her in an ebony stream,
perfectly happy.

She saw him standing in the shadows,
silver and red and amber seriousness,
his strong hand resting on the hilt of his sword,
vigilant and proud,
guarding her as she played,
perfectly content.

She stooped to pick up her basket,
he strode into the light.
Dancing for them as they met,
the breeze blended their hair together,
silver and black, two halves of one whole ndash;
their eyes touched� to sing their own song
which each understood completely.
saying nothing more than a smile,
she handed him the lily,
he handed her his hand.
Walking down the path,
they both were both happy and� content,
knowing what it was to be
perfectly loved.

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понедельник, 13 октября 2008 г.

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Three years ago i left kl for australia because i wasnapos;t happy. I felt that i was on a different wave-length to everyone else there and i needed to get away because i felt so miserable. So now here today i wanna note down that thank god iapos;ve finally found friends who i love so much and can click with so well itapos;s amazing. Iapos;ve never been happier so thank you.


so last week we went to this house party in brisbane. It was this massive house with a large backyard and there were about 70 people. There was even a bonfire. I didnt even know the people who owned the house but they study fashion or whatever. Anyways for the first two hours everything was good. Got really drunk. Like really really drunk. And people kept coming up to us to try and talk to us or like be friends with us or whatever but we were barring everyone like couldnt be bothered. And then this dude was like here have some weed. Like for free. And it all went downhill from there. I had like a joint but because ive been drinking before it FUCKED ME UP SO BAD. Like i couldnt stand up or keep my eyes opened. I had to sit near the front door and i vomited everywhere. Like EVERYWHERE. And my friend made me lie down. And i vomited on myself. On my clothes on my shoes on EVERYTHING it was ridiculously disgusting but i couldnt give a shit. I was literally on the floor in the hallway of the main entrance of the house.i was like that for 2 hours. Fucking embarrassing but thank god i didnt know anyone. Sleptover at a friendapos;s house and woke up smelling like SHIT and covered in spew. My clothes were stained god it was so bad never doing that againnnnn.



ok i need to start on my fucking dreadful assignment.
itapos;s due yesterday and i havent even started yet.
goodbye 10.

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Solomon nodded, knowing all too well what X said rang true. "Aye, child... Which is why it has been a.. What do you call it.. A love and hate relationship we Mammalians have had with you reploids.. We have learned however, based on our own experiences with you and Zero in the past, the fear was needed at the time... Wolfshadow also informed you of the night of passing for her father, so I believe you do not need me to explain that fact further..."

With that, the dragon stood, leaving heavily on his cane, and extending a hand to X. "It was a pleasure speaking to you in such a peaceful manner, child.. I look forward, heavily, to going to Emor in the morning in your presence.. Excuse me for now, for we old dragons must sleep..."


He stood up in response, taking his hand into the Elderapos;s own.� X shook his hand in reply, noting the worn flesh it was covered in, weary it may be from many years hiding from society at large.� Once the Elder had gone, X asked Cheetah if he needed anything else from him and to let him know if he did, before returning to the main room.

Emerald eyes watched Zero in another corner playing with many of the Mammalien children and also noticed that Nova was about somewhere, finding that both of his Reploid companions had woken from their slumbers.� He then spotted Wolfshadow and was about to ask her if she wouldnapos;t mind letting him contact Axl before he heard her speak.

"Just wish I could sleep..." The wolfchild muttered to herself.

He walked over to her and sat down nearby, waiting for a chance to speak.� He found it a few moments later and turned towards the Wolfen Mammalien.� "Sorry to bother you, but I couldnapos;t help but overhear what you were mentioning."� he started, putting a hand to his metal chin before continuing.� "I think...I may be able to help you out, if you donapos;t mind moving to another area?� I think I know the perfect place to try to catch a nap."� he added, winking back to her.� Hopefully, she wouldnapos;t mind a short walk (or carry, that wasnapos;t out of the picture) back to where X had just met the Elder.� It was quiet and even had some pleasant background noises in the stream that was nearby....X thought it might be just what the Mammalien needed.


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воскресенье, 12 октября 2008 г.

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So iapos;m awake and itapos;s almost 5 in the morning. This really SUCKS. Ugh. I cannot wait to start sleeping like a normal person again. Hopefully, that happens soon. Iapos;m just gonna suck it up and do the med thing because nothing else is hacking it.

anyway, i went to huntsville this weekend. Actually, iapos;m still here. Itapos;s good to see everyone and just relax for a while, but it feels really surreal to come back to a place once youapos;ve adjusted to some place like houston. Itapos;s cool though. Had dinner w/ jen then went to her apartment and hung out w/ her and josh for a bit. Stayed at christinaapos;s and joelapos;s for the night. Pretty fantastic catching up with them. Just kinda laid around on saturday and studied.�got my oil changed and my car washed. Itapos;s amazingly clean and shiny. Kinda freaking me out since�i�pretty much�NEVER wash my car. �the rain washes my car... Iapos;m too lazy to do it.�anywho, went to martyapos;s birthday party, wished him happy birthday, ate some cake, and called it a night.

hard to party or socialize when youapos;re so tired. Besides, wasnapos;t really in the festivities kinda mood anyway. Guess iapos;ll try to head out pretty early tomorrow so i can go home and practice clinic skills and study for neuro.

iapos;m still really worried about my midterm score. As more time passes, i think i did even worse. Iapos;m really hoping for a C. I HATE�the feeling of hoping for a C. It pretty much blows. I have a constant feeling of dread. Itapos;s making me nauseous :(�

sigh.

well you guys, i hope you are doing well. I cannot wait until i have some free time in november so maybe i can see a few more of you and just kick back and relax. Until then, keep in touch.

bye <3
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Itapos;s been days since we had the revelation.� It feels bittersweet.� I feel better now that I got off something out of my chest this whole time, but at the same time, I felt like I lost a friend (which�I did).� My personality is too explosive sometimes and�Iapos;ve been battling myself for a long time now.� Some people may think itapos;s just a front, it is.� Behind closed doors, I am beyond different from who and what I really am.� I always show that I�am strong and insensitive, which caused people to turn their heads away.��
I already apologized for being too selfish and for putting down other people, but Iapos;m not going to apologize for something you have caused.� Everytime we had a fight, you alaways turn things around; always blaming me for everything.� But this time, admit it to yourself that thereapos;s a reason why I felt so bitter.� There is something that you had done big that sent me to my breaking point.� However, I do not expect anything to happen; we wind up as friends again, that would be nice, but if we do not, I�definitely could careless.
To date, I never regret anything Iapos;ve done in the past.��It all just made me a better person in the end.� I may have lost a friend, but at the same time, I know now that Iapos;m never going to make the same mistakes again.


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